Friday, August 5, 2011

About Loss

How do I begin to say goodbye to my son, Nico?  I don't know how or if I'll continue here.  My heart is so broken, I have no words to express what I feel right now.

"Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must
take care of what has been
given. Brush her hair, help her
into her little coat, hold her hand,
especially when crossing a street. For, think,

what if you should lose her? Then you would be
sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness
would be yours. Take care, touch
her forehead that she feel herself not so

utterly alone. And smile, that she does not
altogether forget the world before the lesson.
Have patience in abundance. And do not
ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment

by herself, which is to say, possibly, again,
abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult,
sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child.
And amazing things can happen. And you may see,

as the two of you go
walking together in the morning light, how
little by little she relaxes; she looks about her;
she begins to grow." 

3 comments:

sgcorrie said...

Oh Laura. I'm so, so sorry this happened. Lots of love to you and your family.

tiasarah said...

laura, your loss of Nico is one of the saddest, most confusing and heart wrenching things to have happened to a friend. i am with you and hope i can be there for you in any way possible.

Unknown said...

Dearest Laurita, How I wish somehow I could make this stark grief go away. You and Chris literally hold Nico's blessed soul in your hearts forever. But, you say, I want him HERE. And you are entitled. Reading your blog, I am so sorry I failed you. Had I only known...Please know that as I watch the miracle of Bill's heart healing, I will never forget that he has had a full life. Would that we could have healed baby Nico's tiny chambers. Love to the three of you as Nico's soul soars, Kathleen