Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Push Kick

Wow, I just came across Holly McNish and her collection of spoken word and poetry written during pregnancy, through labor and motherhood.  It's pretty cool!
Go to the link below and listen for free(!) or make a generous donation to Camfed

Push Kick - A journey through the beauty, brilliance and bollocks of having a baby.

Thanks to Cate at Project Subrosa for this link!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Journey

I love Mary Oliver.  I love that her writings, her poetry somehow touches me very deeply.  It could be my intense emotions these days, but I've always liked her work.  And, if you want to buy me any nice gifts, I'd love some of her books!

The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Monday, April 25, 2011

My Eyes So Hafiz

My Eyes So Soft

Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly
let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you
as few human or even divine ingredients can

Something missing in my heart tonight
has made my eyes so soft

my voice so tender
my need of god

absolutely clear.


Friday, April 22, 2011

Guess what?

I've been waiting for the right time to share this with everyone.  A few months ago Mr. C and I discovered we are going to have a baby!  Phew, what a whirlwind of emotions these past 4 months have been.  If you noticed me turning down a perfectly delicious glass of wine, or eating just about every two hours, or saw me go to the bathroom like a million times in a day...or realized that I didn't drink at all at my Bachelorette party or wedding, then this should explain everything.

So many life changes at once, and I'm feeling incredibly blessed and shocked and thankful and lucky.  I'm what doctors call "advanced maternal age" and was pretty freaked out for years that I couldn't have kids anymore.  I went through a rough spot about 2 years ago (just before meeting Mr. C) where I realized that my life was out of my control, and wondered about the choices I've made and if I'd only done things differently my life would be where I wanted it to be.  Then, I went to Cascabel for some reflection and fasting.  I came back realizing I don't have control and I needed to let go of what I thought my life was supposed to be like.  From that moment on, when I truly let go, my life has taken twists and turns that are better than anything I have ever imagined.  I mean, I just got married and I'm having a baby (not exactly in that order).  How crazy and exciting is that?

And, if our calculations are correct, then this baby will be out by early October. 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

One month ago...

One month ago today Mr. C and I tied the knot!  So exciting that I call him my husband and he, my wife.  It's been a fun month and we still say we're on our honeymoon.  I get this feeling of bliss and giddyness when I'm around him, makes me feel like a schoolgirl sometimes.

This is how a conversation went when I told a co-worker that today is our month anniversary:

Me:  Today Mr. C and I have been married one month!

Her:  Really?  That's sweet.  I've been married for 28 years.

Me: you still love seeing him every day and being together?

Her:  Sometimes.

Then, the whole room of older, married ladies burst into laughter.  It was like an inside joke that I'm not in on, yet.  I hope that in 28 years he'll still smile when I walk into the room, or I'll still race home just to feel his arms hug me and welcome me home.