Showing posts from July, 2011

Letter to my son...

Dear Nico,
tomorrow you'll be 30 weeks old.  Please hang in there for 4 more weeks.  Just relax, grow, get strong and before you know it, you'll be in our arms and safe.  You are loved and perfect.  You are our miracle and I am thankful every day for the blessing you bring to my life.  These days have not been easy for us, I know you can feel my sadness, anxiety and fear.  But mostly my fear.  I hope that you can also feel my joy, excitement and wonder that you are in my life.  You're not even born yet, and you've already made me happier than I have ever been.   I am filled with thanks that we have you - even if only for a short time.  I still wake up, look at my belly, and am filled with wonder that our love has created you.  With God's grace we will get through this difficult time.  Just know that you are loved and we pray every day that miracles will happen and we will get to love and hold you close.

Your mama

The past few weeks

So much has gone on in the last few weeks, I don't know where to begin.

The last thing I thought I'd have was a "high risk" pregnancy.  Everything started out fine, more or less.  I didn't have morning sickness or trouble eating, and everything was going smoothly.  I did bleed a bit in the first trimester, but that ended as my second trimester started.  Mr. C and I have been preparing ourselves for a natural birth at the birth center by watching videos, meeting with our midwife and doctor and exercising with prenatal yoga and walking to prepare for the birth.  The second trimester was going great...lots of energy, belly growing, and just feeling really, really good. So, when I began to notice that I wasn't feeling baby move much anymore I was a little worried but thought I was overreacting, or being irrational.  But, after 2 days of little movement, I couldn't shake that something might not be right. 

Finally, I decided to call my midwife who met us in the …