It's time for resolutions, right? Not for me. For me, I make resolutions every day, week, month, of the year. I make my lists of what needs to be done, what I'd like to do better or differently. Instead, I look at what I want to accomplish this year that I didn't do last year, what I'd like to continue doing, or what needs changing. This happens throughout the year...through constant reflection and insight.
I cannot help but be grateful for this last year; it gave me so many wonderful things. The most significant being a wonderful partner who I'm lucky to share my life with. Not to mention that I learned how to raise chickens, and how to cook amazing vegan food. I baked more bread than I could eat; I started crafting more than just scarves; I learned that I'm not always right; I learned how to let go of someone I love dearly and let her die with grace and peace. I learned how to put balance back in my life, when to say no...and yes. And many, many more things that are too sweet and small.
Oh life. How you continue to inspire and amaze me.
For this year, I've chosen my word and it is discovery. Meaning: I want to give beyond reason, to care beyond hope, to love without limit; to reach, stretch, and dream, in spite of my fears. I want to adventure into the unknown, discover new pieces of me, and illuminate my darkened path. I thought about this as I looked back at the previous years and how I have transformed myself. How I continue to transform...from years of giving and service, to a year of inner reflection, then a year of peace and balance. This year of discovery brings me to my next stage, discovery of who I am in this world.
Here are some other things I'd like to look forward to:
Family - Mr. C and I are getting married in about 2 months. Creating a family with him and defining who our family will be and what it'll look like. We will create our own traditions, and set our own pace. Maybe even look for a baby!
Intimate dinners - I love to host dinners. I don't do them often enough. I'm looking forward to cooking for my friends, having more game nights, or quiet evenings with wine and good company.
Patience - I have always struggled with patience. When I want something, I want it now. I'd like to recognize and honor that others have their own timeline and ways of doing things that are sometimes different from my own. Let's see how this evolves this year.
Travel...more! - I miss traveling. I've taken some time off from exploring my world around me the past few years and I want to get back to that again. I'm lucky to have friends and family all over the US; I want to stay connected and visit them. But, I want to explore my surroundings more. I want a new tent. Then I want to go camping with it as often as possible. I miss being outside.
Read...better! - I miss reading good books. I want to make a habit of curling up to a good book more often. And I mean good books! I've read some awful books lately and crave some good, intellectual characters.
Exercise - I always talk about it, this time I want to do it!
Pay off my student loans - I think this is the year! It's hard to believe...after 17 years of paying off my graduate school loan, the end is in sight. I think I'll throw a huge party after the last check is written!
Other things inlcude walking the dog more, more hikes in the desert, cultivate a better compost pile, get more chickens, get off Facebook (the time I spend on that site, I could write my own memoir), write my memoir, stop my gray hair from growing, attend more ladies nights, cook more.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky, The flying cloud, the frosty light: The year is dying in the night; Ring out, wild bells, and let him die. Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Ring out the grief that saps the mind For those that here we see no more; Ring out the feud of rich and poor, Ring in redress to all mankind. Ring out a slowly dying cause, And ancient forms of party strife; Ring in the nobler modes of life, With sweeter manners, purer laws. Ring out the want, the care, the sin, The faithless coldness of the times; Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes But ring the fuller minstrel in. Ring out false pride in place and blood, The civic slander and the spite; Ring in the love of truth and right, Ring in the common love of good. Ring out old shapes of foul disease; Ring out the narrowing lust of gold; Ring out the thousand wars of old, Ring in the thousand years of peace. Ring in the valiant man and free, The larger heart, the kindlier hand; Ring out the darkness of the land, Ring in the Christ that is to be.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "In Memoriam (Ring Out, Wild Bells!)"