Monday, May 9, 2011

First trimester...

Today I'm 18 weeks pregnant.  Well past my first trimester, so I feel that I can now write a bit about everything that went on during that time.  Maybe I'll start when I first found out we were pregnant.  My day at work started out pretty typical, when I suddenly felt faint as I was trying to stand up.  I seriously almost passed out!  I went to visit the school nurse who took my blood pressure and told me I was fine.  Clue number one.

The day of my period, it didn't all.  But I had all the pre-period signs:  bloated belly, sore breasts, moodiness.  Clue number two.

I went on-line and looked up "early signs of pregnancy"  and it read "bloated belly, sore breasts, moodiness."  Clue number three.

Those first 10 weeks were really difficult both emotionally and physically.  I was so incredibly tired all the time, ate non-stop, and had pretty severe cramping for weeks.  I was lucky enough to miss the whole "morning sickness" that most women have. So, instead of not being able to keep any food down, I was looking for food to put down!  I gained enough weight to last us through the 2nd trimester!

Everything seemed to be going relatively smoothly, besides the cramping.  Then, at 7 weeks, just two weeks before our wedding, I bled.  Alot.  From the second I found out I was pregnant I knew the chances for a miscarriage where high.  Words can't express the incredible sadness, panic, distress, and total loss of control I felt that night.  There was nothing I could do to prevent this from happening.  Mr. C and I decided to wait it out, to see if it stopped.  It didn't, so we drove to the hospital that night and waited to see the doctor. 

For 4 hours, we sat there in our own thoughts.  For me, I worried that my body wasn't capable of carrying a baby, that something was wrong with my body, that maybe god was still pissed at the way I chose to live my life.  Then I went to have my first ultrasound, there in the ER.  And the tech saw my little squid...and saw it's heart beat.  It was only 1/4 inch, but already there was blood moving in and out of the little ball of cells.  We went home that night/early morning still pregnant but was told we just had to "wait and see" what my body decided to do in the next hours.  The reason for the bleeding is complicated, and the potential for a miscarriage was still super high.  Those were seriously the most stressful days/weeks to come. 

But those days passed...quickly.  Our wedding was fast approaching, and we made some decisions then to change our honeymoon to somewhere closer to home "just in case."  I haven't miscarried yet, and the bleeding has stopped completely in the past month, but I continue to wake up feeling blessed and thankful that our little turnip has decided to stick around, for the time being.

As I've entered my 2nd trimester, my energy is back and my eating routine is now back to normal...ish.  Bump is growing and I'm loving the way my body is changing and gearing up for an incredible transformation.

Me at 14 weeks!

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