Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Needless worry

Have you ever had days when you just wanted to close the door, turn off your phone, hang your 'do not disturb' sign, pop open a glass of wine and just walk away from everything outside?  Today, I wish I could have done that.  I'm a social worker in a high school.  Drama, chaos, sadness and angst defines my population every day.  Most days I'm fine.  I can hear their sadness and feelings of loneliness and offer support, a shoulder, suggestions, advise, or just a kleenex.  

But then there are other days, like today, when all of it is just too much to hear.  I think that's when I know I haven't been taking good care of myself.  When I've been worrying about everyone else before worrying about myself.   I wish I had a button to just turn off my mind from all this worry.  I take after my mother, for sure. She thinks and over-thinks situations that have not happened yet, nor would they ever happen.  For me, I'm constantly wondering "what can I do? how can I help? why is this happening?"

Just an example of my day:  still trying to get a US citizen student a passport to visit her family in Mexico where her mother died last week while her father is in detention...a 14 year old on her own to figure this out!  Or, a young girl who's trying to understand why her alcoholic father yells and screams at her every morning while she's done nothing wrong, and she can't talk to her mother because she killed herself when she was a baby.  Or a beautiful, intelligent boy who's lonely because noone will talk to him so he sits by himself at lunch or goes to sit with other kids who "look alone"and just wants a friend.

I'm afraid there are lots of women (and men) like me...caretakers, parents, worrywarts, and solvers-of-the-worlds-problems.  If you'd like to get together sometime and chat over a glass of red wine, my door is always open.

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