My companion...

Over thirteen years ago I found this little, 4 month old puppy, running in front of my car and plopped down right in front of me, not moving. Just sat there. Asking to be taken. Demanding that I stop the car and pick her up. I think she was thinking I was going to save her life. Little did she realize that she was instrumental in saving mine.

So, over the past 13 years she has been a loyal companion to me and put up with the many, many moves all over this country. Phoenix to Ann Arbor, back to Phoenix, cross country drives back to Ann Arbor, 2 house moves and now, finally, settling in the little house in the barrio for the past 7 years. In the beginning, she has attachment anxiety where she couldn't stand to be away from me. She'd go crazy, literally cry all night. Until I came home. On my longer times away she would get depressed, sleep by the door and not eat for the first few days. When I'd arrive, she would greet me cordially then walk away...pissed that I left her for so long. Just walk away as though she had just seen me. Stubborn...a bit like me, some would say.

She has become a bit frail the past couple of months and I can see her age, her frailty, sneaking up on me. It's really a difficult thing to work through, the mortality of a loved pet. No matter how much she has soothed and comforted me, I can't help but realize how little I can help her.

When I came home from work the other day and found her laying there, on the hardwood floor, just looking up at me but not getting up, I simply thought she got into the garbage again. But no, she wouldn't get up. She laid there, looking at me, trying to get up. But her back side just stopped working. The feeling of utter helplessness is not a feeling I'll ever get used to. After spending the night in the hospital and fearing for the worst, the diagnosis was spinal arthritis...simple old-age ailments that I suppose I'll have to face one day. But to hear that my little girl has arthritis brings back the realization that her time with me is very, very temporary. As my friend John says, she's in her Golden Years. I want to make sure she enjoys it to it's fullest, and I can enjoy and appreciate all she's been to me while I still have her here...



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To Nerina, with love

Image
Dear Nerina, I want to take this time to tell you how much you have meant to me these past (almost) 15 years.   Knowing you has been a gift that I will cherish forever.  It seems you came into my life knowing that I needed you alongside me - guiding me, supporting me, giving me love and loyalty, showing me strength and compassion, and just being a true companion each and every day.  From the beginning, I knew we were meant to be together, and that you chose me as your life partner... Sunday, April 14, 1996 - the eve of your arrival -  I had just returned from living in Ann Arbor for 2 years, studying and living in an incredible place.  I remember being pretty depressed after finding out that I couldn't move out of my parents house and my partner decided not to follow me to Arizona.  My depression kept me in bed for days, not able to eat, with no energy.  That afternoon, I remember looking in the classified ads for puppies.  I thought that was just what I needed to distrac
Read more

My Wedding Day...

Image
I suppose most brides would say their wedding day was the most amazing day of their lives.  But, for me, I mean it .  This day came not without stress, anxiety, tears and disappointment; but despite all of it, it was the most remarkable gathering of people in one place.  It couldn't have been more perfect.  I couldn't have imagined it would turn out better than I thought.  I should start from the beginning.  Well, the beginning of the week, at least. It started with a phone call from my grandmother saying she couldn't come to my wedding, despite the fact that she was visiting from Chicago.  It appears that my father has more influence and can invoke more fear in people than I thought.   My mom also confirmed that she, too, could not make it.  My aunt from Chicago had also planned to visit, along with her 3 children, but soon discovered what it means to be on my father's bad side.  Turns out, he found out she was coming and threatened her (and anyone else even thinkin
Read more

Summer Vacation 2008

Image
Even though it's only mid-July, my summer is officially over. I went back to work this week after having the past 6 weeks off. For those of you who work in schools, this is just way too short. For everyone else, don't be jealous! The first 3 weeks was spent in the desert in Southern Arizona and in Tucson. I spent half of my time at the desert aid camp, helping to coordinate the volunteers coming down to help with the humanitarian aid work. Here's an e-mail I sent to a friend when I came back from the desert: "Just got back yesterday from being in Arivaca this week. It's hot! And also incredibly sad and tiring stuff. I feel good about being out there, though. It makes all that we do worthwhile knowing that the work is reaching people. I met a man from Guatemala who was lost for a week, just wandering and walking North, separated from his group by Border Patrol. The only thing that kept him walking all week was his 2 year old daughter currently living
Read more