Wednesday, January 14, 2009

10 Steps to Achieving Forgiveness

Step 1: document what you believe has happened and what you need to forgive
Step 2: Acknowledge the way the incident made you feel
Step 3: Recognize who is being hurt by your unforgiveness
Step 4: Acknowledge the part, if any, you played in the incident
Step 5: Acknowledge both positive and negative parts of the relationship
Step 6: Write a letter to the person who has wronged you. THIS LETTER IS NOT GIVEN TO THE PERPETRATOR (okay, that's the "official" thing to say, but if it's not incredible hurtful, mail it)
Step 7: Crate a ceremony to rid yourself of the letter, symbolizing the end of your hurt (like hitting 'send' on an e-mail, or putting a stamp on the envelope...that should do it)
Step 8: Understand that forgiveness is a process and some of the feelings may manifest themselves again. This is not unusual, but creating a method of reducing your anger is helpful (and drinking should not be one of your healthy methods, as much as you like your red wine)
Step 9: Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. You can still forgive the person without excusing the hurtful act.
Step 10: Remember forgiveness is all about personal power.

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