Desert Laura

" That which is to provide light must endure burning ." - Victor Frankl  Me and my co-workers went to a Compassion Fatigue workshop this week - the new word for burnout .  I went because I thought it could be useful information to pass on to new No More Deaths volunteers or old ones, the ex-pats , as I call them.  The group of volunteers who committed many years and time and energy to the work only to leave it after putting everything they had into it.  But during the workshop I realized that the signs of compassion fatigue they talked about were very familiar to me and what I experienced.  So, the workshop was pretty kooky at times, and I didn't walk away with many answers or insights.  At one point, we did an exercise where we had to sit on our hands and relax our sphincter muscles...oh god, what did I get myself into?  Apparently, sphincter relaxation helps our body during times of stress and is a suggested practice when we're having a tough day....

I do not fit into my jeans anymore...at all.  I totally love being pregnant and am constantly amazed at the way my body is growing and changing and shifting things around to fit a little bump in there.  But , I struggle with figuring out what to wear, how to continue to wear what I currently have without spending tons of money on maternity clothes. I came across a blog that gave me a great suggestion for what to do with your jeans.  This is perfect!  At first, I could zip it up but just needed help with the buttoning.  But   now , the zipper stays down.  Thank god for my hair ties! And I refuse to buy a belly band!  I know, I may end up getting one, but I really, really really don't want one.  Anyone else think they look medieval? I still find myself looking in the mirror in amazement that this is my body.  Being in touch and tune with the growing, stretching, changing body is remarkable.  I am so thankful that I can experien...

Our little bump is a baby boy!  :)

Today I'm 18 weeks pregnant.  Well past my first trimester, so I feel that I can now write a bit about everything that went on during that time.  Maybe I'll start when I first found out we were pregnant.  My day at work started out pretty typical, when I suddenly felt faint as I was trying to stand up.  I seriously almost passed out!  I went to visit the school nurse who took my blood pressure and told me I was fine.  Clue number one. The day of my period, it didn't come...at all.  But I had all the pre-period signs:  bloated belly, sore breasts, moodiness.  Clue number two. I went on-line and looked up "early signs of pregnancy"  and it read "bloated belly, sore breasts, moodiness."  Clue number three. Those first 10 weeks were really difficult both emotionally and physically.  I was so incredibly tired all the time, ate non-stop, and had pretty severe cramping for weeks.  I was lucky enough to miss the whole "m...

Circa 1980 I remember my first royal weddingI watched when I was 9 years old.  It was on super early in the morning and my sister and I got up and watched it, to see the dress, the ceremony, the whole excitement of it all. I also remember fallling asleep in the middle of it.  Somehow I was disappointed.  It wasn't all I expected it to be.  It didn't feel romantic, quaint, intimate, close.  I remember the dress being HUGE...the train flowing out for miles, it seemed.  But I was bored by it all. Fast forward 30 years and I just finished my own wedding planning and ceremony.  Definitely was more exciting than any royal wedding I've seen so far! I thought I'd share our ceremony, as it was so beautiful and romantic. Processional Someone Like You (Van Morrison) - sung by friend Welcoming Remarks Opening remarks on love and marriage - by pastor Reading One: Kahlil Gibran - On Marriage Then Almitra spoke again and said, 'And what of Mar...

Wow, I just came across Holly McNish  and her collection of spoken word and poetry written during pregnancy, through labor and motherhood.  It's pretty cool! Go to the link below and listen for free(!) or make a generous donation to Camfed .  Push Kick - A journey through the beauty, brilliance and bollocks of having a baby . Thanks to Cate at Project Subrosa for this link!

I love Mary Oliver.  I love that her writings, her poetry somehow touches me very deeply.  It could be my intense emotions these days, but I've always liked her work.  And, if you want to buy me any nice gifts, I'd love some of her books! The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice-- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you...